Embracing What I Hate

 

red dress: vintage off white dress: Thistlepearl shoes: Nasty Gal + Jeffery Campwell

Since i have turned 5 i have hated my hair. 

hated it. 

I have gone through probably every form of chemical hair treatment for making your hair stick straight while smelling like burnt bread out there. 

To the Brazilian blowout, To a Relaxer, i have tried everything. 

I have really curly hair. It frizzes. It takes forever to dry. I hate it. 

But yet i am always the one whenever my friends are feeling self conscious about anything i tell them that they are being stupid and its just there self conscious hormone teenage self talking. 

Very hypocritical of me. 

About a week ago one of my friends asked me 

"When you wear your hair out does it look like a Afro?"

I knew he meant nothing of this comment he was only regarding the general look of my hair out of curiosity because i always wear it stretched out into a tight bun like some old Liberian that belches out something like "you be quiet young whippersnappers". 

But i took offense to his seemingly curious question due to an image of a 70s fro popping into my head.

I shuddered at the thought.

But why?

Why did i shudder at the thought of a fluffy Afro.

I have a big fat blond Afro and i hate it. Why? 

As always i shall blame society and their  straight hair

..........everything. 

In a normal fashion magazine we almost never see any curly heads unless there hair has gone through an hour in a curling iron and its for some shoot entitled "releasing the crazy in you."

 Barbie dolls all have perfectly blown out blond hair something i have been craving ever since i placed my pudgy hands on the silky mane of my first barbie doll. 

Everything is straight hair this straight hair that.

Back when i was 11 and I did not know a good magazine from a bad one i would read Seventeen where they would teach you how to get rid of your "pesky" curls and this is not the only magazine/blog/ anything that does this. 

Time after time i see "how to do the perfect blow out" "how to get rid of those frizzy curls" but yet nothing entitled 

"how to actually love your really curly/frizzy hair because you don't want to burn your head with a straightening iron anymore" 

in my town Afro curly hair is by far the rarest form of hair. 

 The count of people i know in my town who have Afro curly hair 3. 

My mom, my bro and I. 

I get a ton of complements for having such different hair. 

I also get a ton of snickers for having what is considered a fro. 

My brother who has not yet reached the time in his hair journey where he is just like Who cares i have curly hair and i am going to live with it (i have almost reached this stage). 

But my bro who use to have shoulder length curly hair chopped it off causing several girls to shed tears.

Now every month he cuts his hair shorter and shorter every morning he takes more time then i do tending to his hair in front of the mirror. 

He spends his time brushing his hair back to replicate his friends greasy hair that is always soaked in gel. He is at the phase of 

i want the curl gone. 

Now on a final note (and this goes for what ever you feel self conscious about) just embrace what you hate I did, with my curly hair, i now wear it out ignoring the snickers and i love it (A Rabbi told me when I cut my hair he wants to buy it off of me). What more can a girl ask for then a Rabbi buying your hair. 

Curly hair is much more fun to play with when your suppose to be taking note in french then straight hair.